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You Know You're Addicted to the VampChron When.... Part 1

*You stopped reading OTHER books, you just keep reading the chronicles over and over.

*You have the movie IWTV playing on your television every minute of the day even when you're not in the same room, just because it comforts to you to know that it's on.

*You swear at the television when a "witty" talk show host makes a bad comment about the vampire chronicles.

*You rented "First Wives Club" again just to hear them say, "Look, it's the Vampire Lestat!".

*You spend all day on the computer waiting to add a message to the "Vampire Lestat" message board....then you spend all day waiting for a response.

*You watch Jeopardy! with your family each night, just waiting for a question about Anne Rice or her novels so you can proudly shout out the answer.

*Every time you see Tom Cruise, Kirsten Dunst, Brad Pitt, Christian Slater, Antonio Banderas, or any other actor from the move, you imagine them as their IWTV character. (ie....Mission Impossible now stars LESTAT, not Tom Cruise)

*You can quote word for word at least one of the Vampire Chronicles, and I mean the ENTIRE BOOK.

*Your ideal mate has long hair and looks coincidentally like Louis or Lestat or Gabrielle or one of the other vampires

*Your ideal mate IS Louis or Lestat or Gabrielle or one of the other vampires.

*When you have to write a paper for something, you automatically use "The Vampire Lestat" as an historical reference.

*You sit for hours making charts that compare all your friends to the characters to see who--in your world--should be who. Then you decide who you get to be.

*Even though you're too old, you make all your friends dress up like the Vampires you've decided they're most like for Halloween.

*You refuse to answer to any name other than "Claudia" "Maharet" "Louis" "Lestat" "Armand" or "Daniel" (etc, etc.).

*You deliberately ask people what their favorite movie is, just so you can say, "Mine is Interview with the Vampire! Have you seen it?"

*You've seen IWTV so many times that you wrote the script from memory.

*You bought a convertible in hopes that Lestat would pop up from the back seat but he never does.

*You often wake up screaming "Claudia!" or "Armand, don't kill yourself!"

*You scan the pages of magazines looking for any reference to the vampire chronicles or the movies.

*You visit the Anne Rice page at least twice a day to see if it was updated yet.

*People you don't even know call you to tell you that something about Anne Rice is on television.

*You stay up all night looking out your window for vampires, just in case.

*You try to veil all your thoughts in case a vampire is listening.

*You take long (sometimes drunken) walks at night so Lestat will find you....still hasn't worked.

*You got an "F" on your history paper on vampires, because it started with the words "I want to tell you the story of my life" and ended with "You'll never truly understand".

*You write letters to toy companies asking if they are ever going to come out with "Vampire Lestat" action figures.....and you want ALL the characters from EVERY book, even Nicki.

*You wrote a letter to Parker Brothers telling them to make an IWTV board game.

*Once in a while you grab your squirt gun, run outside, and shoot the mail lady screaming, "Damn you Dora!"

*When you're mad at your siblings you yell out something in French, then stomp to your room muttering something about getting revenge when you DO meet Lestat.

*Unlike your friends, you don't worry about aging, because you're sure that you'll be a vampire before you're thirty.

*You turn 30 and, disappointed and annoyed at still being mortal, you fly off to New Orleans to hunt down Lestat yourself.

*When you order pizza, you tell the people at pizza hut that you are "Louis de Pointe du Lac and you're on vacation with a group of mortal friends."

*You watch the news every night, expecting to hear about strange murders where the victims were drained of blood....but rarely do.

*You sit at the computer typing messages like "I love Lestat!"

*You bought a dog just so you could name it Mojo.

*You spend a lot of time reading/writing "You know you’re addicted to AR if--lists"

*You purposely let your other dog, Lestat, loose at night, so you can walk around calling out, "Lestat! Come back!"

*Your family gets jealous of your Anne Rice books.

*You’ve wallpapered at least one wall with articles, photos, pictures, posters, and even book covers relating to the VampChron.

*When your family decides to take a cruise, you beg them to consider the Queen Elizabeth II.

*Whenever you stay in a hotel, you try to talk the registry list out of the desk clerk to see if the names "David Talbot" "Louis de Pointe du Lac" or one of Lestat’s aliases appear on the list.

*You once went into a confessional and told the priest, "I have killed many people. One every night for sixty years. I am a vampire," just to see the priest’s reaction.

*You watch "The Rosie O’Donnell Show" to see if she mentions IWTV because "her Tommy" is Lestat.

*When you stay home sick you read sections of the Chronicles until your eyes hurt and then you put your copy of IWTV in the VCR and fall asleep watching it.

*You fall asleep watching IWTV almost every night, even when you’re perfectly healthy (physically, anyway).

*When you first meet someone you like, or you see someone you think is cute, your first impulse is to the bite them, preferably on the neck.

*You've actually bitten a stranger you thought was cute.

*You spend all your free time writing specs about the VC.

*You run or helped write a website dedicated to the VC or something else closely related.

*Even though you don't know more than a few words of French, you find yourself saying "Mon Dieu" instead of My God, and similar phrases from the books.

*You've started an army or military movement against anyone who thinks Armand is really dead. (I won't name names here, you know who you are -- and I believe Armand is Alive, so don't kill me Anya!)**

*For your history reading, you've tried to pass Interview with the Vampire and/or The Vampire Lestat off as historical biographies.

*You've actually convinced a teacher that one of the above chronicles really is a biography.

*You watch A&E's biography hoping they'll do a bio of Anne.

*You've taped and kept everything you can find that'd VC related on TV. (Anne on Rosie, MTV, other talk shows, Intimate Portrait, etc.)

*In math class, you use your scientific calculator to try and spell out names of characters from the VC. Or you use your graphing calculator and type out phrases or lines from the books or movie.***

*You've gotten in arguments over your opinions on the IwtV movie (i.e., Tom did a good job, or the ending was freaky and wrong, etc.)

*You download all the multimedia files of Interview that you can find, using all your hard disk space, because that stuff is "necessary".

*Whenever you find someone with a prosthetic leg, you ask if their name is Flavius. (If you're really really obsessed, you might even ask women.)

*You considered having your leg amputated, just so you could get an ivory leg like Flavius'.

*You know more about the plantation system in 1790s New Orleans than your history teacher, and most historians.

*While watching the movie Candyman 2, you can name all of the streets in New Orleans, even though you've never been there.

*You want to learn the piano, just to attract immortals. The first song on your list: The Apassionata.

*You link songs you hear to scenes from the books or the movie.

*You started a band named "Satan's Night Out"--who needs instruments? The name is all that matters!

*Anytime you pass someone holding a paperback that even slightly resembles a VampChron, you practically mug them to find out if it is one.

*Every time you go into a bookstore, you head straight for the Anne Rice section, even if you have all the books--then you stand there and figure out which ones they're missing.

*You own both hardbacks and paperbacks for each novel. Not to mention the Audio copies...

*When your friend asked if s/he could borrow your copy of TVL, you growled protectively.

*You growl protectively when anyone goes near any copy of any VC you own. You've even resorted to biting to keep violators at bay.

*People at school/work call you a vampire--and you don't mind. When they make cracks about your "habits" you play along.

*You begged the bookstore manager for his moving Armand display when you saw it in the store. After he said you could have it after Halloween, you hung around the store to make sure someone didn't try to steal it.

*You were happy about the fact that a small add for Armand on the bottom of a receipt from a bookstore, even though you'd purchased another book.

*You own both DVD and Laserdic copies of Interview, even though you don't own both players, so you can accomadate all of your friends. (You have to make sure everyone sees it!)

*You've sat down and figured out the polictical stances of your favorite vampires (ie, are they democrats or republicans?)

*You've actually voted in favor of your favorite vampire, even when you completely disagree.

*When you write the word "Louisiana" you stop halfway through, stare at the letters "Louis" on your paper, and think of the Chronicles.

*The word "incest" reminds you of The Witching Hour, and even though it's not a VampChron, it's still by Anne Rice, so....

*Your non-obsessed friends are so sick of hearing the word "Lestat" they practically run from the room when you start up again.

*When you go into a book store, your non-obsessed friends go and get a soda, because they know you have to look at each and every copy of any VampChron, and the buy the ones with covers you don't already have.

*When you have to write vocab sentances, or type nonsense for a printer test, you use the vampires' names and character traits.

*You correct everyone who pronounces "Louis" "Lewis" and then give them a lecture on French pronounciation.

*It bothers you to hear people misprounce the characters' names. "LeStot," "Ar-maand," etc.

*When you find something that you think is hilarous that relates to the Chronicles (jokes, short silly specs, articles, how-to-tell-you're-obsessed lists, etc), you copy them and e-mail them to everyone you know, even the people who don't know who Lestat is.

*You've lectured Savage Garden fans (as in the band) on the origin of their name.

**back before The Vampire Armand was published, there was a debate going on about whether or not Armand and Mael were truly dead. Memnoch stated they were, so naturally, that was what most people believed. But some of us love characters so much, we can be in denial. On TVL Board, we started the Armand Militia, set to take down anyone who claimed Armand was dead. And the Militia turned out to be right, so ha!

***not too long ago, someone else e-mailed me and told me that they had actually done this too and when they read it on the list, they were happy to find they weren't alone... I'm glad I'm not the only one sick enough to think of something like that. ^_^

Still Not Sure? Read Page 2 of How to Tell If You're Addicted!

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